Chuck Berry's Breakfast
Then again, this is the internet, and who knows if any of this is true or not. Just saying there is plenty of evidence to back this all up.
Charles Edward Anderson Berry (October 18, 1926 – March 18, 2017) was an American singer, songwriter and guitarist who pioneered rock and roll. He wrote and played "Maybellene," "Roll Over Beethoven," "Rock and Roll Music," "Johnny B. Goode," "No Particular Place to Go", "You Never Can Tell", and "Nadine." If you have ever watched a movie or seen an advertisement on television, you are probably acquainted with Chucky's music.
But this article isn't about that. It's about his perverted ways. Look, his only number one hit was called "My Ding-a-Ling," which is a song detailing all sorts of damage that could occur to his private parts.
The following section is an edited post from The Straight Dope forums, but the original origin for the story comes from a now defunct magazine called "SPY," where the whole article is, as of this posting, still available.
Video shows naked blonde woman and naked Chuck Berry. Woman gets down on her kness and Chuck proceeds to relieve himself on her, all the while saying things like," Yeah, you like that, don’t you. You like it when I piss on your face. yeah, open your mouth. Drink my piss. yeah drink it all up."
When Chuck is finished he says, “Kiss me baby. No You smell like piss, go wash yourself off.”
The woman goes and washes off, while Chuck adjusts the camera. The woman comes back and Chuck lies down face up on the floor. The woman straddles his face. Chuck says, “Time for my breakfast.” The woman ummmm…does #2 on Chuck’s face and in his mouth.
This particular "Breakfast" did not involve bacon, eggs, hash browns, or a nice cup of coffee. No, this breakfast involved food that had already been digested.
Other Problems With The Law
Berry’s trouble with the law started early. A teenage Berry ended up in reform school for armed robbery.
Chuck liked them young.
In 1959 Berry was arrested for taking a 14-year-old girl, Janice Escalanti, across state lines for “immoral purposes”, a crime for which he eventually served two years in prison. Sure, lots of rock stars have had immoral purposes for underage women, but Chucky went even further. He was then accused of installing a video camera in the ladies’ toilet of his Missouri restaurant in 1989, and tapes from this camera were found in Berry’s home leading to him being sued by 59 women. I guess he liked golden rain and fart noises.
In December 1987, Berry was charged with misdemeanor assault in connection with an incident at New York's Gramercy Park Hotel. What is known, as Pegg pointed out, is that Berry hit a woman in the face, causing "lacerations of the mouth, requiring five stitches, two loose teeth, [and] contusions of the face."
Because this is a wiki, you can add new stuff all the time. This is one of those times.
A discussion then occurred:
<@FED> CHUCK, IT'S YOUR COUSIN
<@FED> YOUR COUSIN, MARVIN BERRY?
<@FED> YOU KNOW THAT NEW SOUND YOU BEEN LOOKIN FOR?
<@FED> WELL LISTEN TO THIS!
<@FED> hahaha he just farts into the phone
<@FED> and marty says "I guess you guys aren't ready for that one yet"
<@Monkt> "your kids are gonna love it" - FED
- August 18, 2022
- Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jimmy Page, Steven Tyler, Axl Rose, David Bowie, Iggy Pop, and just about everybody else who was involved in Rock music.
NO, this article will not be included in the Series on Food.