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Chuck Berry's Breakfast

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A C H T U N G !
Chuck Berry's Breakfast is an article that relies heavily on well studied references. If you don't check them (at the bottom of the page), your arguments are invalid.


This is a gross one that will probably excite quite a few of you dregs out there. Chuck Berry, the American Icon and father of Rock'n'Roll music was a really disgusting pervert.[1][2]

Then again, this is the internet, and who knows if any of this is true or not. Just saying there is plenty of evidence to back this all up.

About Chucky

This article isn't about a wholesome breakfast.

Charles Edward Anderson Berry (October 18, 1926 – March 18, 2017) was an American singer, songwriter and guitarist who pioneered rock and roll. He wrote and played "Maybellene," "Roll Over Beethoven," "Rock and Roll Music," "Johnny B. Goode," "No Particular Place to Go", "You Never Can Tell", and "Nadine." If you have ever watched a movie or seen an advertisement on television, you are probably acquainted with Chucky's music.

But this article isn't about that. It's about his perverted ways. Look, his only number one hit was called "My Ding-a-Ling,"[3] which is a song detailing all sorts of damage that could occur to his private parts.


The following section is an edited post from The Straight Dope forums,[4] but the original origin for the story comes from a now defunct magazine called "SPY," where the whole article is, as of this posting,[5] still available.

The Claim

Video shows naked blonde woman and naked Chuck Berry. Woman gets down on her kness and Chuck proceeds to relieve himself on her, all the while saying things like," Yeah, you like that, don’t you. You like it when I piss on your face. yeah, open your mouth. Drink my piss. yeah drink it all up."

When Chuck is finished he says, “Kiss me baby. No You smell like piss, go wash yourself off.”

The woman goes and washes off, while Chuck adjusts the camera. The woman comes back and Chuck lies down face up on the floor. The woman straddles his face. Chuck says, “Time for my breakfast.” The woman ummmm…does #2 on Chuck’s face and in his mouth.

Defining "Breakfast"

This particular "Breakfast" did not involve bacon, eggs, hash browns, or a nice cup of coffee. No, this breakfast involved food that had already been digested.

Similar to dingleberry stew; the chuck berry breakfast consists of human feces slathered in pancake syrup and butter served on a hot pane of glass. Favorite morning time meal of legendary R&B musician Chuck Berry.

-- Urban Dictionary[6]

Further Discussion

But; BUT!!! I’ve always been a huge Chuck Berry fan. Even when he was arrested for transporting underage girls across State lines, I Stuck By Chuck! (I was underage myself at the time, and had no trouble relating to his desires.) But this??? NO! You can’t make me believe it!

-- Some dude on the StraightDope forum.[7]

Other Problems With The Law

Chuck arrested.jpg

Berry’s trouble with the law started early. A teenage Berry ended up in reform school for armed robbery.[8]

Chuck liked them young.

In 1959 Berry was arrested for taking a 14-year-old girl, Janice Escalanti, across state lines for “immoral purposes”, a crime for which he eventually served two years in prison.[9] Sure, lots of rock stars have had immoral purposes for underage women,[10] but Chucky went even further. He was then accused of installing a video camera in the ladies’ toilet of his Missouri restaurant in 1989, and tapes from this camera were found in Berry’s home leading to him being sued by 59 women. I guess he liked golden rain and fart noises.

In the 1970s he went back to prison for tax evasion.[11][12]

In December 1987, Berry was charged with misdemeanor assault in connection with an incident at New York's Gramercy Park Hotel. What is known, as Pegg pointed out, is that Berry hit a woman in the face, causing "lacerations of the mouth, requiring five stitches, two loose teeth, [and] contusions of the face."[13]

Later Developments

Chuck berry hookers.jpeg

Because this is a wiki, you can add new stuff all the time. This is one of those times.

A discussion then occurred:

<@Monkt> brap
<@FED> hahaha he just farts into the phone
<@FED> and marty says "I guess you guys aren't ready for that one yet"
<@Monkt> "your kids are gonna love it" - FED[14]


Chuck Berry's Breakfast is a part of a series on Music
Chuck Berry's Breakfast is a part of a series on People*
* I used toilet paper image because I couldn't find a good graphic for "human garbage"

Elon Musk Charles Bukowski Darwin The Wrestler BallSac Gary The Tow Truck Driver Ron Perlman Mark Zuckerberg NPC Salman Rushdie Jeff's Sex Doll Dan Donics Thomas Paine Jim Rome Gummi Columbine Anon Johnny Depp Wikipedia Editor Andre StoneToss Bloggin.space DEAFTONEGOES Shawn's Shed Kirk Hammett Sergei Boobtitsky Certified Plummer Mr. Mitchell Grillo Cliff Is Back Albert Bourla Chuck Berry's Breakfast Justin Wilson The Vegan Teacher Steven Crowder Weishaupt John The Maintenance Guy Ye Pupienus You Blanche Dumas Zoomers Joe Buck NEET Trump The Legend Of Jeff Bam Margera Faye Reagan Vivek JFK Suggs Diggs Uncle Roger Matt Petgrave Robert Earl Hughes Tom Bosley

NO, this article will not be included in the Series on Food.