Andre
Andre is a 68 year old maintenance man who used to work in a trailer park in northern Ohio.[1] Currently, his whereabouts are kinda known as he occasionally texts or calls me.[2] Additionally, he occasionally shows up to various parties and cook outs.[3][4]
Andre is known as a "park prince." This slang term, denoting a very helpful person, usually describing an average guy who knows how to fix normal stuff like sinks, toilets, minor electrical problems, and holes in the goddamned drywall. Because of this "park prince" knowledge, people like Andre are granted perks by people who he helps.
Perks
Usually, when some random normal guy fixes your leaky kitchen faucet for free, it is customary to offer that guy a slice of pie, a pan of mac'n'cheese, or some good roasted chicken. This happens very often and is not considered a monetary exchange. It's just friends doing things for each other. Andre is very skilled at helping his neighbors and friends, and has often benefited from the various perks that these people offer him in exchange for his repair services. Sometimes, these perks cross over the line into physical and/or sexual rewards. When this happens, an individual must make some moral choices. Andre has made hundreds of these choices.
Stories
Andre, a Vietnam war veteran, blames his speech impediment on Agent Orange. This speech impediment does not take away from his story telling ability, and in fact, enhances it. Below, you will find two examples of Andre's stories:
The second mp4 file will not upload because mediawiki is shit. here is the file.
Summation
While Andre may not be a total badass, he should offer hope to the average man. He does his thing, goes along with life, and manages to succeed despite his past and his age. Also, he doesn't give up, and you shouldn't give up either...there may be a pan of lasagna or a pot of chicken soup in your future.
References
- ↑ https://bloggin.space/andre.html
- ↑ He still lives in the park, but he is looking for someplace else to live.
- ↑ Depending on how his 2010 Chevy Tahoe is running at the time.
- ↑ He also has some dumb Dodge SUV that he hates.
* I used a toilet paper image because I couldn't find a good graphic for "human garbage"
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