Homemade BBQ Sauce

“ the only hard part is putting your beer down while stirring it” -- --weishaupt

Quirky!

Yes, I know there are a ton of great store-bought BBQ Sauces out there. They come in infinite flavors from super hot to super sweet to super smoky, and I like to try them all when I can. Sweet Baby Ray's happens to be my favorite. But today, while making a pork tenderloin, I noticed that I had a lot of left over pan drippins and decided to make my own Homemade BBQ Sauce.

What You Need

You don't have this, so make your own.

It's pretty simple. If you are grilling, smoking, or slow cooking pork, you need to keep back some of the cooking liquid after you are done. While smoking or grilling, a foil pan under the meat will do just fine. If you are using a slow cooker, the liquid is already in there, just use a ladle and grab some.

Now, on to the list of shit you need:

• 3 cups of your pork liquid. If you do not have a full three cups, use some chicken broth.
• 1 cup of brown sugah
• One more half cup of brown sugah. Reserve this back, just in case you need to use it.
• 3 Tablespoons of ketchup
• 3 Tablespoons of yellow mustard
• 1 full tablespoon of fresh cracked black pepper. Make it chunky.
• 1/2 cup of my own special homemade hot sauce.
• Random dried herbs and spices. I use garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne pepper, and some smoked paprika.
• 1 cup of Frank's RedHot™ sauce. Use half a cup of it first, then check later if it needs more.
• Apple cider vinegar as needed. Just buy a gallon of the cheap stuff and give your sauce a shot of it from time to time, depending on how it tastes.
• 1 table spoon of coarse salt, as needed.

Method

Pulled pork with sauce.

Put all your pork drippins into a wide cooking vessel. You want lots of surface space because you are going to be reducing this down until it becomes a glossy sauce that has the consistency of ketchup.

Bring the drippins to a soft boil and add 1 cup of the brown sugah. Stir it with a whisk until it is disolved. Next, add all the other stuff and keep it moving with that whisk, you don't want anything to stick because burnt sugah is a bitch to clean up.

Let the whole mess reduce on high heat until it is reduced by 2/3rds. Yes, you have to pay attention, and yes, you have to keep stirring with that whisk. Once it starts getting really sticky, you may feel the need to switch to a silicone spatula, that's okay, do that.

Finally, when you drag your spatula across the bottom of the pan and the sauce doesn't immediately fill in the area where your spatula was, you are pretty much done. Season to taste. You may need to add a bit more sugah or salt at this point, but you can do that because you are smart.

Questions

Cherry tomatoes added for dramatic effect.

After I took everybody's bottle of store-bought BBQ sauce away and forced them to use this, I was asked some questions:

• Oh My Goodness! What is that fruity flavor in the background?

It's the apple cider vinegar. Use it sparingly because it can overwhelm your final sauce.

• Golly! This sauce has a certain ZING to it. Whatever did you do?

It's my secret hot sauce that is shown in the picture near the top of the page. You don't have it, but you can find a billion pages on the internet devoted to showing you how to make your own. Maybe someday I will make an article about home made hot sauce, but I'm too lazy right now.

• Dang! I never knew that you could make your own BBQ sauce! Who'da thunk it???

Well DUH, where do you think BBQ sauces come from? Why do so many of the brandname sauces have human names added to them? It's because some fucko, in his backyard, slaving over a grill made that shit and then some other fucko came along, liked it, and put it in a bottle.

Aftermath

Put that sauce in a jar that you can seal and then put it in the fridge. It will last for about 2 weeks. Just enough time to use it on the next time you BBQ something. Around here, it lasts about 2 days.

References

mmmmm, Homemade BBQ Sauce is a part of a series on Food

Baked Eggs | Clam Dip | A 75 Dollar Meal In Japan | Chef Jean Pierre | Breakfast | You Must Eat All The Eggs | Spider Goulash | Watermelon | Moleasses | Fresh Salsa | Cigarettes | Lunch | Homemade BBQ Sauce | Ramen | Brunch | Smokes | Dinner | Supper | Afternoon Tea | Doritos Ingredients | Late Night Snack | So Hi | 9 Pounds Of Onions | Hot Sauce | Microwave Oven | Blue Moon | Tomato Soup | The Destruction Of Food Processing Facilities | Rejected Mountain Dew Flavors | Self Serving Skillet | RC Cola | Poppers | Cheese Spread | Sushi | The Scoville UNIT | Burger | Brussels Sprouts | Justin Wilson | Pesto | The Waffle House Index | Pickled Garlic | The Tennis Racket | WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER | The War On Eggs | Cereals That Are Gone | Ketchup On A Hot Dog | Stainless Steel And Garlic | Red Bull Inn | Mustard | La Choy | KFC Firelog | Domicopter | Chili Crisp | Zah | Adobo Chuck Roast | The Old Pick Nose And Eat It Switcheroo | Resiniferatoxin | La Fin du Monde | Coffee | Frank's Red Hot© | Omelette Man | Vegan | Chinese Restaurant Syndrome | Chili | Cheeses | Sausages | Chicken And Noodles | GWEET | Superman Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread | Big Brussel Sprouts | Prime Rib | Chowder | When I Feel Bad | Trout | Maytag Blue Cheese | Lazy Devilled Eggs