9 Pounds Of Onions

Everybody fuckin HATES onions. Dirty little bitches. This article will show you how to totally destroy onions in a cruel process of torture that finally ends in a liquid death that resembles water boarding taken to the hottest extreme. When I am finished, they shall beg for the sweet release of death.

The Process Of Destroying Bitch Ass Onions

I fucked up and did not take pictures of the knifing of the onions, but who really cares about these garbage shitheeps? They are the worst thing ever to exist. Nevertheless, here they are, cut up like stupid ass retards, under my mild heat and tender, yet torturous ministrations:

One hour of mild heat. We don't want them to die instantly, like the pussies they are, but rather a slow agony:

AH HA HA HA shitty onions! You are being forced to brown under my slow torture! However, it shall continue, because I wish you to sweat.

Take a close look at yourself, slut... I have turned you into a slurry! You now know this will end badly.

Now I am going to add insult to injury, I shall now add your mortal enemy, GARLIC.

I have broken and demoralized you to the point of no redemption, turd onions. I have reduced your once proud standing into a quivering paste like the whore you are. You crave the sweet release of death by now, but your journey is only beginning.

NO, NO, we have just begun. I have dumped several quarts of torture broth on to your stinking, ugly face. I shall now turn up the heat as I wish to scrape the hell out of you. Did I mention that I have added another level to your torture? HA HA HAHAHAHA!!! Yes, those bay leaves shall truly make you suffer.

The Coup de grâce

It is almost over, onions. The only thing left is to stick your dumb ass under a broiler.

mmmmm, 9 Pounds Of Onions is a part of a series on Food

Click here to open up the recipe book.

9 Pounds Of Onions

The Process Of Destroying Bitch Ass Onions

The Coup de grâce

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