Daddy Long Legs

Stop telling people this crap.

Okay nerds, this urban myth needs to go away. Daddy Long Legs spiders are not "the most venomous spiders in the world." No, they can't bite you, and no, that stupid meme where somebody says "Oh yeah, they just don't have teeth that are strong enough to puncture human skin..." is just a booger man falsehood.

If you believe anything anybody tells you about Daddy Long Legs, you are stupid and deserve to actually be bitten by a real venomous spider.^[1]

The Eel Deal

Daddy Long Legs "spiders" are not even spiders.^[2] They are more closely related to scorpions. Despite the fact that Daddy Long Legs look like spiders,^[3] they probably evolved that way for protection. Also, if you really want to know, the have a proper name: Opiliones. Also, they go by harvestmen, harvesters, and other shit that women scream when they are creeped out by them.

Additionally, Daddy Long Legs don't really have any venom. When distressed, they just drool some sort of liquid that has no smell (to humans) and act docile until you get bored with them and put them back where they were.

Speaking of that, if you smash Daddy Long Legs once you have captured them, you are probably a sociopath and you need help.^[4]

First, they're not spiders, and second, daddy long-legs do not have fangs and none of them make venom. Their mouth parts are more like that of a crab or scorpion, called a stomotheca (stow-moe-thee-ca). They also have chelicerae (chee-lis-a-ray), which are a type of claw that they use for holding and grasping food.^[5]

I feel like I have to drive the point home further...

The harvestman is very distinctive with a round, compact body and extremely long legs. Although it looks like a long-legged spider, it isn’t one. It is one of the Opilones, a group of arachnids closely related to spiders. Unlike the spiders, it has no silk glands so is not able to spin a web. It does not have fangs and does not produce venom.^[6]

Get over it, jerks. They can't hurt you. Stop being a pussy around them.

Shepherd

A little interesting tidbit is that the word "opiliones" means "shepherd" in Latin. The Romans named them this because their legs were so long that they resembled the stilts that actual shepherds used to stand on and observe their flocks of sheep.

References

If anything, this article tells me that I need to make a template for "The Animal Kingdom." So, I did it.

Daddy Long Legs is a part of a series that concerns Members of the Animal Kingdom.

Daddy Long Legs is a part of a series on Things

[1] ttps://www.britannica.com/list/9-of-the-worlds-deadliest-spiders

[2] ttps://officialdaddylonglegs.com/

[3] Or porn stars...Christ, I hate the internet. https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=daddy%20long%20legs%20transparent&qs=n&form=QBIR&sp=-1&pq=daddy%20long%20legs%20transparent&sc=3-27&cvid=521DB4BA462E441EA1246171EC686DEF&ghsh=0&ghacc=0&first=1&tsc=ImageHoverTitle WHY???

[4] They help us. https://mdc.mo.gov/discover-nature/field-guide/daddy-longlegs-harvestmen

[5] ttps://infinitespider.com/daddy-long-legs-411/

[6] ttps://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/other-garden-wildlife/insects-and-other-invertebrates/worms-slugs-spiders/harvestman/

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[2]

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Daddy Long Legs

The Eel Deal

Shepherd

References

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