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Mattress Store

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This article is one of those types of articles that could get the author rubbed out, greased, black vanned, or sniped. Please try not to spread the information you have found here.



Quote.png there are currently more mattress stores than McDonald’s—or Starbucks—in the United States, most of which are Mattress Firms, according to USA Today.[1] Quote1.png


Some are still around and look like this.
But most look like this.

You ever wonder about Mattress Stores? Everybody knows they are a money laundering scheme for the Mob, the CIA, or some other fiendish group.

Think about it.[2][3]

Usually, they are a building that is probably ten grand a month in rent (at least) full of beds, yet empty of customers, and companies like Mattress Firm used to put them on every corner. Also, they usually have the best of everything; air conditioned, dry atmosphere, computers on several desks, etc...

This is why you just know something nefarious is in the works.

The Building

Empty mattress store.jpeg

Because they have so many floor models, the buildings are usually huge. Upon grand opening, they are stuffed to the rafters with hundreds of thousands of dollars in inventory. An inventory that will almost never be totally sold. Why? Because the whole idea is to spend money on a front business that is a shell corporation that launders money for shadowy institutions.

Business Model

Mattress liquidation.jpeg

Quote.png The average American only buys a new mattress every seven to 10 years. Plus, most millennials are having their mattresses delivered straight to their doors with bed-in-a-box services, according to USA Today. Quote1.png

Nobody is ever in mattress stores. Remember the last time you went into one? It was a huge empty room. A business that shells out this type of money to sell a product MUST have a large consumer base, but this isn't the case for most mattress stores. Normally, they are ghost towns. Seriously, how many cheaply made, overpriced, marked up posture-pedics and dreamsleeps do you have to sell to pay the bills in these places?

They tend to open and close overnight as well. One day, they will have those huge inflatable wavy guys, streamers, and signs saying GRAND OPENING. Three months later, the inflatables are put away and huge signs saying CLEARANCE: EVERYTHING MUST GO are smothered over the windows.[4]

The Eventual End

Worn out carpet and an empty dream

Once whatever scheme is finished[5] or is discovered by the local police, the plot is over. Time to move on to the next huge building, usually a few states away, and filling it with the same old plastic wrapped products.

The old husk of the store, which employed 1 or 2 employees,[6] stands empty. They are vacant for months,[7] usually some landlord sells the whole place to a Dollar General, a CVS pharmacy, or a Rent-a-Center.

The scheme is smoothed over and forgotten.

Further Schemes

Before writing this article, I knew that part of the plot involved rebuilding old mattresses, but I chose to leave that part out as I wanted to focus on the money laundering. I was told that I missed this issue, so I have included some internet chats.

<BallSac> •weishaupt•
<BallSac> you left out one big factor
<BallSac> most of those discount mattress stores
<BallSac> sell "recovered" used mattresses
<BallSac> like
<BallSac> they put new covers on them
<BallSac> its a thing

I have to say that this is important as well.

Further Quotes

Quote.png “In Schererville, Indiana, there are 5 Mattress Firms within one mile of each other. Many believe that Mattress Firm is a money-laundering scheme, as they seem to appear everywhere but not have much demand. The CEO recently resigned after allegations of money laundering surfaced.” Quote1.png

Quote.png Along the way, someone decided that their theories on our business strategy were more exciting than the facts and shared their opinion on a community-based social media site. Despite swift refutation, the rumors have become a part of cultural folklore but have no correlation to the company’s legitimate business.[8] Quote1.png

References

  1. https://psuvanguard.com/is-mattress-firm-a-front-for-a-large-scale-money-laundering-scheme/
  2. https://brobible.com/culture/article/mattress-firm-money-laundering-front-theory/
  3. The more they deny it, the more you just know it is true.
  4. Shortly after the conspiracy theory went viral, Mattress Firm CEO Steve Stagner announced Mattress Firm would be filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection and would be closing nearly 700 stores, especially in areas where it has too many stores “in close proximity to each other,” according to Business Insider.
  5. https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/10/05/wake-up-call-traditional-mattress-chains-mattress-firm-files-bankruptcy/
  6. A mob soldier or some NSA flunkie.
  7. Because of the investigation
  8. LOLOLOLOL!!! yeah, right.

External Links

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Mattress Store is a part of a series on Things

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