The World's Largest Living Organism

Hi, I'm a taco with a stop sign.

This article rejects any sort of hippy talk about granola, drugs, or how mankind is destroying the world. Don't give me any shit about just how bad civilization is, you are here using civilization that was built by better people than you, and burning up fossil fuels just to read this page.

Pando

When I looked up this organism, the first result on both google and bing was some anti-christian bullshit.

Yes, another one of those pages that I am forced to make because my dipshit friends keep wanting to argue with me about stuff I already know. This page is a cobbled up group of facts (that will be referenced) showing that the largest living organism on Earth is Pando. Also, all of them are dying because of you...not the fact that organisms that have lived 80,000 years might go through phases.

The Blue Whale

Yeah, yeah, everybody knows that the Blue Whale was bigger than some dinosaurs. They were big, but not the biggest. Shut up.

Pando Is The Largest

Pando is fucking huge.

Weighing 13 million pounds, Pando is the world’s largest organism by mass.

Sweeping across 107 acres of Utah’s Fishlake National Forest is the world’s largest organisms: a forest of some 47,000 genetically identical quaking aspen trees, which all stem from a single root system. Pando, as the organism is known (its name is Latin for “I spread”), has been growing for at least 80,000 years.

Quaking aspens can reproduce by disseminating seeds, but more frequently, they send up sprouts from their roots and form a mass of trees aptly known as a “clone.”

Humongous Fungus

Some dipshits seem to misunderstand the difference between "largest animal" and "largest organism." They go on to compare the Blue Whale with a patch of mushrooms.

About 25 years ago, researchers discovered that an Armillaria gallica mushroom near Crystal Falls, Michigan, covered about 91 acres, weighed 110 tons and was about 1,500 years old, setting a new record for the largest organism at the time. For a new study published on the preprint service bioRxiv, James Anderson, a biologist at the University of Toronto and one of the original discoverers of the fungus, returned to the site and took 245 samples from the mushroom and examined its genome. The team confirmed that indeed, the entire fungus is just one individual.

Neptune Grass

Why are you killing such beauty?

In 2006, a colony of Neptune grass stretching over 8km and thought to be over 100,000 years old, was found off the coast of Ibiza. It is thought to be both the oldest and largest living organism on Earth.

This species is found only in the Mediterranean Sea, where it is in decline, occupying an area of about 3% of the basin.

My Cock

I couldn't resist. tee hee hee.

References

The World's Largest Living Organism is a part of a series on Things

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