Germans

Dark and envious souls.

more like NOISEY AFK - penecks

Germans ( Pronounced by normal people as "jər-mən." Are commonly scorned as Germanlets, Krauts, Alcaboche, Fischkopf, Fritz, Jerry/Jerries, Huns, Saupreiss, Boxheads, Somalis, Squareheads, and Marmeladebrüder ) tend to spend every waking moment of their lives either goosestepping^[1] to shitty military marches, or trying to make everybody think life is as shitty as their own. Seriously, most Germans are as funny as a dead baby, hoisted on a rusted pitchfork, at a rainy sunset, while the gaunt pallbearer accidentally trips into a muddy grave and falls on a pile of rotten sauerkraut.

Germans are a jealous group who think that their culture^[2]^[3]^[4] is important and somehow relevant despite the fact that they are 0-2 in world wars. Additionally, they will never recognize, to the point of incredulous and unimaginable ridiculousness, the fact that they have been a tool of greater powers than themselves since at least 1914.^[5]

Behavior

A supplementary note must be addressed concerning Germans as well.

Germans only view the 4chan board known as /r9k/.^[6] This phenomena has not been adequately studied, mostly because nobody cares about Germans.

Because nobody cares about Germans it is pointless to discuss anything involving them.

Harsh Language

A torturous and ugly thing.

Germans have the harshest language of all time. Imagine dragging your fingers across a chalkboard while listening simultaneously to a person throwing a full symphony orchestra horn section against the wall in a bloody mess. Do you have that cacophony firmly affixed in your mind? Well get ready, because the German language is approximately twice as bad as what you are imagining.

Germans In The United States Of America

All the smart Germans left Germany a very long time ago.^[7] Intelligent Germans^[8] began emigrating to the USA way back in the 1600s to the early 1900s. Consequently, Germany became a terrible place,^[9] because it was full of stupid people. Meanwhile, at the same time, the United States became a world power.

Not all of the evidence is in.^[10] Nobody is sure that the Germans were the cause of America's rise in power, but it must be noted that while the United States climbed the ladder of success, Germany became a cesspit, full of people who are constantly away from their keyboards.

References

↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/goose-step
↑ ooooh look at me, I invented Lutheran doctrine and Wagner....
↑ Pretzels - a food invented by somebody else.
↑ Spätzle - dumping rotten flour into boiling water.
↑ Remember that time you thought you were cool because you invented rockets and jet engines? Then some other guys took all that stuff and made it way better? Yeah, that was funny and cool.
↑ The absolutely most depressive and lonely board on any imageboard, ever. Seriously, only loner, self harming virgins go there.
↑ German emigration to the USA began at the end of the 17th century when Germany was suffering from the after-effects of the bloody religious conflicts of the Thirty Years' War, and Christian minorities were being persecuted.
↑ People who didn't want to be told what to do on a daily basis and didn't want to pay for pointless wars.
↑ The Thirty Years' War took an immense human toll, with significant, long-lasting impacts on marriage and birth rates. Historical sources suggest, for example, that the Swedish army alone destroyed 2,200 castles, 18,000 villages and 1,500 towns in Germany, wiping one-third of the country's towns from the map.
↑ Because a bunch of British, Irish, Italian, French, Scottish, and Dutch immigrants also came to the United States at the same time, and were waaaaaay smarter than their Germanlet counterparts.

Germans is a part of a series on Things

[1] ttps://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/goose-step

[2] t me, I invented Lutheran doctrine and Wagner....

[3] Pretzels - a food invented by somebody else.

[4] Spätzle - dumping rotten flour into boiling water.

[5] Remember that time you thought you were cool because you invented rockets and jet engines? Then some other guys took all that stuff and made it way better? Yeah, that was funny and cool.

[6] The absolutely most depressive and lonely board on any imageboard, ever. Seriously, only loner, self harming virgins go there.

[7] German emigration to the USA began at the end of the 17th century when Germany was suffering from the after-effects of the bloody religious conflicts of the Thirty Years' War, and Christian minorities were being persecuted.

[8] People who didn't want to be told what to do on a daily basis and didn't want to pay for pointless wars.

[9] The Thirty Years' War took an immense human toll, with significant, long-lasting impacts on marriage and birth rates. Historical sources suggest, for example, that the Swedish army alone destroyed 2,200 castles, 18,000 villages and 1,500 towns in Germany, wiping one-third of the country's towns from the map.

[10] Because a bunch of British, Irish, Italian, French, Scottish, and Dutch immigrants also came to the United States at the same time, and were waaaaaay smarter than their Germanlet counterparts.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

Germans

Contents

Behavior

Harsh Language

Germans In The United States Of America

References

Navigation menu

Germans

Behavior

Harsh Language

Germans In The United States Of America

References

Navigation menu

Search