Shit, Shower, Shave
Shit, Shower, Shave commonly referred to as Weishaupt's Law, is an order of operations used when performing common hygiene practices. This series of operations is meant to help maintain physical health and personal appearance. Although "Shit, Shower, Shave" is not in alphabetical order, it is in the correct order in which it must be performed.
Order
Shit, Shower, Shave must be performed in the following order:
- Shit
- Shower
- Shave*
This order must be followed strictly as any other order of Shit, Shower, Shave will produce negative results. Other actions can be added to this order such as "shampoo," "shine," or "wank off," however these actions are considered "extracurricular" and will not be discussed within this article.
* Shaving may be performed while in the shower.
Negative Results
People who do not perform Shit, Shower, Shave in the correct order will face outcomes that may not aid in helping physical health or appearance. The following list will detail this order of operations when not done in the correct order and also the possible consequences that may occur.
- Shower, Shave, Shit: This order will produce a dirty butthole that may or may not become itchy during the day. Many people also report that it "feels weird" to sit on a toilet with a wet ass right after a shower.
- Shave, Shit, Shower: Shaving prior to taking a shower is not recommended. Shaving an unwashed face can result in red bumps, cuts, scratches, ingrown hairs, and in rare cases, death.
- Shit, Shave, Shower: See Shave, Shit, Shower above.
- Shave, Shower, Shit: Not only will this produce the previously mentioned dirty butthole, it will also result in the previously mentioned issues faced within the Shave, Shit, Shower order.
- Shitting while in the shower is considered poor form and should not be undertaken at any time.
The Only Correct Order
Shit, Shower, Shave is the only correct order to produce positive results. Firstly, taking a shit prior to a shower allows for the cleansing of the butthole. This cleansing prevents itch, stink, and other negative consequences that involve a dirty bung.
Secondly, Shaving after a shower softens the hairs and makes them stand up straighter, allowing for a closer shave. Hot water loosens the skin making for a more relaxed shaving experience. Additionally, hot water will also open the skin's pores, helping clean them while preventing blackheads, zits, abscesses, pimples, papules, cysts, carbuncles, and pustules.
Finally, Shaving after taking a shit can result in "poopy fingers" which can lead to infection, it is in the performer's best interest to wash thoroughly during the Shower phase to avoid such issues.
Quotes
| " something most of Europe hasn't done. " Urban Dictionary |
| " Better shit, shower, and shave " Your Dad |
Video
Shit, Shower, & Shave by Low Cut Connie
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