Terramite T5C

You show up to the work site and it's a muddy mess. A water main burst the night before and now water has been dousing the area for at least a few hours. Walking through the muck adds 30 pounds of mud stuck to your boots; walking to the work truck for a wrench is now a huge chore. On top of that, you are going to have to dig. There is no question about this as the water main, shooting water at 60psi, is six feet below you underground. It is going to be a pretty shitty day.

Near the work zone, some old dude is sitting on what looks like a lawn tractor built in the 1960s. It's yellow, has a backhoe attachment, a bucket attachment, and it is making a sound like a high pitched Chewbacca with his hand caught in a blender. What the hell kind of tools is your boss giving you? This digging machine looks like it was constructed out of used auto parts and that sound it makes...it might just be falling apart in front of you.

On one of the bucket arms, in bold cursive script, a logo reads Terramite as if somebody at the manufacturer were proud of this awkward and tiny machine. The "caution" yellow paint is chipped, faded, and even burned in places and there isn't even a cushion on the tractor's steel seat. Like you thought before, it's gonna be a pretty shitty day.

Mini backhoe

Strong enough to bust concrete.

Or a pesky boat.

The above introduction is pretty much what everybody thinks the first time they see a Terramite T5C bucket loader/backhoe. And while a lot of the description is true about the machine, that it makes a terrible noise, usually is beat to hell, and isn't a fashion statement, you will not believe what this thing is capable of.

The T5C is constructed small so that it can fit into tiny spaces, yet dig to a depth of at least 8 feet; the depth where most utilities can be accessed. It is also constructed tough. T5C tractors were discontinued by the Terramite corporation quite some time ago, before the company being bought out by the "TerraQuip" corporation. Since no more T5Cs are being made, any model you see will be at least 30 years old and probably have a slew of cosmetic damage. For all that, the ones I have had contact with are all still running smooth and can do the job they were built to do better than most comparable tractors being built today.

Also, if you do manage to fuck something up, they are really easy to work on. Parts for them can be ordered from Amazon or found in any automobile junk yard. That's right, a ton of the parts that make up a T5C are actual auto parts. The original engine is a Kohler Command 25hp gasoline motor that can be replaced by an updated Kohler motor or a Honda GX690 that sports 26hp.

Why are they so good?

Fireproof

Not flip-proof, but it still runs.

Because they will save your ass many times over and never ask for anything in return, that's why. Terramite T5Cs are known for the following:

always start up
may need a bit of starup fluid ; )
will dig with almost no hydraulic fluid left in its reservoir
when you do run out of hydraulic fluid, you can use motor oil
most of the time their lights, horn, and seat are busted, so you don't need to worry about any of those things.
same goes for the hydraulic system.
every seal on the hydro system can be leaking and the thing will still dig
the steering is also hooked up to the hydro system, so if that seal is leaking, you are getting hydro fluid all over yourself.
aside from the steering wheel and the hoses, they are fire proof.
re-set the bead on the back tires and seat them on their rims with ether (no shit, I've seen it happen)
impossible to get stuck.
seriously, if you get one of these things stuck, you are a moron.
if you do manage to get one stuck, get off the tractor and allow a more experienced driver to take over and un-stick the thing.
you can bury one of these tractors up to the steering wheel and still be able to get out of the mess you are in.
why would you let it get that far?
you got something against calling somebody for help?