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Internet Relevance

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Internet Relevance is an old article from ED that I wrote and I am saving a back up copy here for myself.

Internet relevance is a blanket term used by members of Encyclopedia Dramatica when they are not overly fond of an article's subject matter. There are several categories on Encyclopedia Dramatica that are considered taboo and off-limits because basement-dwelling nerds don't like them. In other words, if it does not pertain to video games, 4Chan, random nobodies being murdered because of comments on their LiveJournals, random nobodies committing suicide on their Stickam feeds, or random nobodies shoving astoundingly large objects into their asses, it probably won't have Internet relevance and will not be covered by Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Usage on Encyclopedia Dramatica

The term Internet relevance is tossed around quite a bit on several members' talk pages and is commonly used on newer articles' discussion pages as a way to either discredit the actual pages or cause butthurt in the articles' authors. It is encouraged to thus use the term Internet relevance as often as possible in an attempt to generate internet drama within the page itself. No actual reading of the page is required.

Topics That Are Off Limits

Because EDiots prefer to sit in the comfort of their basements and nitpick and usually have no interest in sports, history, sociology, or most sciences, these topics are not Internet relevant and should be considered extremely off-limits by any writer attempting articles about them. Further topics, subjects, and categories shall be considered when they crop up, but if your article doesn't contain a picture of Pedobear, Chrischan, or screenshots of some seventh-grader yelling about porn, you probably should not write it to begin with.

Things You Can Do To Be Internet Relevant

When starting an article, forget using Google, RapidShare, news-aggregate sites, or anything that has anything to do with the subject matter of your article. Once you have done this, it is safe to proceed in smothering your new page with blinking text set to a seventy-two-pixel height, lots of slow-loading YouTube videos, annoying GIF animations that show the subject of the article being anally raped, and lots of boring IRC quotes that nobody will read anyway. Once your article is fully smothered, you are OK to proceed with its content.

Article Content

Any time when your writing resorts to third-grade humor that utilizes a large number of jokes concerning faggotry, farts, or poo, you know that you are on the right track. Keep this up as it will certainly help to increase your page's "lulz-factor."

Images

You must always have a large gallery of images to support your article. Having a gallery will take the reader's mind off your lack of content--especially if you fill the gallery with lots of pictures that have "Im Chargin My Laser" photoshopped into the already funny content that you have found.

External Links

Nobody reads these anyway, but make sure to put some down just so you can fill your article out a bit with some internet fluff padding. A reader who happens to check your links by mousing over the text will be able to see where the link leads to. This can be dangerous if you are linking to nothing. However, because nobody clicks external links anyway, you can bluff your way out of potentially article-damaging non-links by carefully linking to such sites as MySpace, DevianTART, 7Chan, and Twitter.

Piping and See Also

Make sure to PIPE your articles! A reader who stumbles across your article will first check to see if there is a lot of blue links within the body of your writing. Upon seeing that there are lots of blue links, he or she will ignore them entirely as they are not really part of the sarcastic tradition of the site and won't link to anything to support the article anyway. More often than not, you can get away with linking your friends' articles; just be sure to spread them out a bit.

Quoting

Quoting is an excellent way to add huge, content-devoid, white spaces to your page. Make sure you use extra-long quotes as the average time spent reading these is relatively low. Also, centered, bold text with big quotation marks around it offers your article an air of authority. Because nobody would dare argue with fact, this control and command that you exert upon your readers is vital to keeping your article Internet relevant.

Video Links

On your page, it is always a good idea to use as many YouTube videos as possible. Doing so will have the dual effect of confusing your reader with lights, sirens, and bells and somewhat beefing up your page's size. By doing both of these things, your article will seem much more plausible and you will gain the air of authority in the eyes of the average readers, who are not really there to look at your text. Rather, they are there to see if you linked "YouTube Porn" or some catfight between two high school chicks tearing out one another's hair extensions.

How You Can Be Internet Relevant

Even if you do not write or edit Encyclopedia Dramatica, you can also be Internet relevant. There are several ways to do this:

  • Leave comments on both the page and the author's user-talk page.
  • Join EDirc and stalk out an author of an article.
  • Wait six months, until the article's drama has abated; then start in with your trolling.
  • Make "your momma" jokes.

Video

Here are several YouTube videos that will help keep your article Internet relevant. As they never go out of style, use them like a drunken sultan using his thirteen-year-old wives:



Logs

Part of the Encyclopedia Dramatica experience is using IRC. IRC is a chat protocol that allows you to interact with people all around the world. Another bonus that several IRC clients offer is that they can log events and text within the channel. Often, EDiots will use IRC to troll unsuspecting IRC chatters in their respective IRC chat channels and then paste the log within their article, thus spreading the lulz here at the site. 

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External Links

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Internet Relevance is a part of a series on Old Stuff

Dan's Devil's Dictionary | Charles Bukowski | Bookz | New York Yankees | G/tv | Kyleville | Ellen's Hickey | Generic Article | A User's Guide to Article Building | Introduction to English | Salman Rushdie | Rainmeter | Sex Panther | A Pocketknife | Thomas Paine | Wook | Three Or Four Weeks | Internet Relevance | Jim Rome | DMV | Public Library | The Copperhead | Monopoly | Around the House | Marcus P. Kellum’s Personal Journal | Solitaire | Internet Explorer | Billy Ripken | Ka-chunk | Clacka-Clacka | Mickey Mantle | Terry Tate Office Linebacker | Berry | 1guy1jar | Babcock Dairy Farm | Goatse.cx | Old Hoss Radbourn | Rufus Owned A Steam Engine | Blanche Dumas | Thundarr The Barbarian | Superfriends | That Time Is Now | Hong Kong Phooey | Fractured Fairy Tales | Little Twelvetoes | Mullet Girl | Hanker For A Hunk O' Cheese | The Chopper | Yuck Mouth | The Angle Of The Dangle | Michelob | Bulova Computron | Vinko Bogataj | Lower Case, Upper Case, and Shift

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