Difference between revisions of "Fucking Gas Cans"
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[[File:stupid_fucking_gas_nozel.jpg|thumb|right|120px|Who the fuck invented this thing?]] | [[File:stupid_fucking_gas_nozel.jpg|thumb|right|120px|Who the fuck invented this thing?]] | ||
Yet another way to destroy normal human life, '''FUCKING GAS CANS,''' the new ones, named CARB compliant<ref>https://ww2.arb.ca.gov/our-work/programs/portable-fuel-containers-gas-cans</ref><ref>Yep, the rest of the United States allowed California to dictate laws on others who do not live within that state.</ref> '''suck balls and need to be destroyed.''' | Yet another way to destroy normal human life, '''FUCKING GAS CANS,''' the new ones, named CARB compliant<ref>https://ww2.arb.ca.gov/our-work/programs/portable-fuel-containers-gas-cans</ref><ref>Yep, the rest of the United States allowed California to dictate laws on others who do not live within that state.</ref> '''suck balls and need to be destroyed.''' | ||
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==Explanation== | |||
[[File:gas_can_jack_off.jpg|thumb|right|120px|You have to jack the thing off!]] | |||
OSHA, the EPA, the local fire marshal, and all the other guys in charge of making your life miserable, invented these stupid things so that you spill gasoline all over yourself, your machine, your asphalt driveway, and your grass. The end goal is to make it so that gasoline engines are so distasteful, you don't want to use them anymore.<ref>'''''Sometimes I think they make stupid rules for the fun of it, just to laugh at making our lives miserable.''''' https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37411544</ref> | OSHA, the EPA, the local fire marshal, and all the other guys in charge of making your life miserable, invented these stupid things so that you spill gasoline all over yourself, your machine, your asphalt driveway, and your grass. The end goal is to make it so that gasoline engines are so distasteful, you don't want to use them anymore.<ref>'''''Sometimes I think they make stupid rules for the fun of it, just to laugh at making our lives miserable.''''' https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37411544</ref> | ||
Oh yeah, and when you use these dumb things, the fuel dribbles out like a 84 year old man with bladder stones. I hope you have three hours to waste when you want to pour a gallon of gas into your | Oh yeah, and when you use these dumb things, the fuel dribbles out like a 84 year old man with bladder stones. I hope you have three hours to waste when you want to pour a gallon of gas into your socks while trying to fill up the lawn mower. | ||
This is all in the name of "saving precious lives!" you might exclaim in a naïve fashion. Yes, the lives of a small group of dipshits who dump gasoline on a hot part of their motor, or (more likely) like to play with roman candles while they handle liquor and flammable liquids. | This is all in the name of "saving precious lives!" you might exclaim in a naïve fashion. Yes, the lives of a small group of dipshits who dump gasoline on a hot part of their motor, or (more likely) like to play with roman candles while they handle liquor and flammable liquids. | ||
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==The Fix== | ==The Fix== | ||
[[File:trashcan.jpg|thumb|right|120px|Put them here.]] | |||
This is '''highly''' illegal, so never do it: | This is '''highly''' illegal, so never do it: | ||
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*Just buy your gasoline at a gas station that allows you to pump it into plastic buckets | *Just buy your gasoline at a gas station that allows you to pump it into plastic buckets | ||
*Buy one of those blacklisted nozzles off of your favorite consignment website. You may have to search the dark web for such items.<ref>Don't do it in Ohio, unless you want a visit from the EPA</ref><ref>A guy who buys his gas cans in fucking Canada of all places. This is just because laws in the United States are retarded. https://www.rantoulpress.com/opinion/reeder-why-are-u-s-gas-cans-so-difficult/article_16bbe5ae-b2e2-11e9-b255-93bd3ce735f1.html</ref> | *Buy one of those blacklisted nozzles off of your favorite consignment website. You may have to search the dark web for such items.<ref>Don't do it in Ohio, unless you want a visit from the EPA</ref><ref>A guy who buys his gas cans in fucking Canada of all places. This is just because laws in the United States are retarded. https://www.rantoulpress.com/opinion/reeder-why-are-u-s-gas-cans-so-difficult/article_16bbe5ae-b2e2-11e9-b255-93bd3ce735f1.html</ref> | ||
*Remove that pesky locking ring<ref>https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37407659</ref> | *Remove that pesky locking ring<ref>https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37407659</ref> | ||
==References== | ==References== | ||
<references /> | <references /> | ||
{{Government}} | |||
[[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Exertion]] | |||
Latest revision as of 17:28, 15 September 2022
Yet another way to destroy normal human life, FUCKING GAS CANS, the new ones, named CARB compliant[1][2] suck balls and need to be destroyed.
Explanation
OSHA, the EPA, the local fire marshal, and all the other guys in charge of making your life miserable, invented these stupid things so that you spill gasoline all over yourself, your machine, your asphalt driveway, and your grass. The end goal is to make it so that gasoline engines are so distasteful, you don't want to use them anymore.[3]
Oh yeah, and when you use these dumb things, the fuel dribbles out like a 84 year old man with bladder stones. I hope you have three hours to waste when you want to pour a gallon of gas into your socks while trying to fill up the lawn mower.
This is all in the name of "saving precious lives!" you might exclaim in a naïve fashion. Yes, the lives of a small group of dipshits who dump gasoline on a hot part of their motor, or (more likely) like to play with roman candles while they handle liquor and flammable liquids.
Wait what? Nope, it isn't about saving lives at all. Nobody cares if you burn yourself up trying to dump a quart of gasoline into your chainsaw (mixed with 2 cycle oil of course). They are worried about the fumes that a leaky gas can might have while it is stored in your shed.[4]
Testimonials
Or, anecdotal evidence that is totally relevant...
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The Fix
This is highly illegal, so never do it:
- Buy an older can at a garage/yard sale
- Cut off that stupid nozzle and drill a "breath hole" on the other side of the can
- Just buy your gasoline at a gas station that allows you to pump it into plastic buckets
- Buy one of those blacklisted nozzles off of your favorite consignment website. You may have to search the dark web for such items.[8][9]
- Remove that pesky locking ring[10]
References
- ↑ https://ww2.arb.ca.gov/our-work/programs/portable-fuel-containers-gas-cans
- ↑ Yep, the rest of the United States allowed California to dictate laws on others who do not live within that state.
- ↑ Sometimes I think they make stupid rules for the fun of it, just to laugh at making our lives miserable. https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37411544
- ↑ https://sobiloff.typepad.com/blakeblog/2012/10/more-than-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-gas-cans.html
- ↑ https://modernsurvivalblog.com/preps/how-to-fix-new-gas-cans-to-pour-right/
- ↑ Trust me bro...
- ↑ https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/
- ↑ Don't do it in Ohio, unless you want a visit from the EPA
- ↑ A guy who buys his gas cans in fucking Canada of all places. This is just because laws in the United States are retarded. https://www.rantoulpress.com/opinion/reeder-why-are-u-s-gas-cans-so-difficult/article_16bbe5ae-b2e2-11e9-b255-93bd3ce735f1.html
- ↑ https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/do-you-not-hate-the-new-gas-can-caps.2431675/#post-37407659
