Soft Water

Most water entering a home looks like this. If you have a water softener, it may filter out the garbage...but you are left with other complications... Do you want to use 7 towels to dry off after a shower? Do you want to feel "soapy" for the rest of the day? Do you like spending wasted time wiping off dishes that have scum on them after they were supposed to be washed in your home's dishwasher? It goes deep.

Various dictionaries around the web pretty much define Soft Water like the following:

Water containing little or no dissolved salts of calcium or magnesium, especially water containing less than about 85 parts per million of calcium carbonate.

What Soft Water Really Is

Shit.

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Sidenote: Oh nice, the poop emoji shows up.

The Conundrum

If you don't use a softener, your water looks like shit, tastes like shit, and is probably full of stuff that will kill you.

If you DO use a softener, your water is an oil slick, and it probably still is full of stuff that will kill you.

On top of all that, softeners don't filter out "forever chemicals" like microplastics, so you are gonna get prostate cancer and die anyways. Yep, they really fixed your little red wagon for you, didn't they?

What Soft Water Feels Like When You Take A Shower

It feels like you are an eel stuck in a jar of Vaseline.

Seriously, now that I live in an area that requires a water softener to keep the home pipes clean of calcium deposits, I have to feed the damn softener with salt every other month and it makes my balls feel like two hairless gerbils fighting over a food pellet in a greasy bag of slippery rubber.

I asked my wife to come and check my balls during a recent shower. She said:

Your balls feel like two hairless gerbils fighting over a food pellet in a greasy bag of slippery rubber.

Sumation

Okay, so where I live now requires a water softener because the water is so full of calcium. You have to use it to keep your home's pipes free of debris. If you don't use a softener, the Hard Water that enters your pipes leaves all sorts of grit and other horseshit.

Why?

Well, that's an easy answer. Indiana's water is supplied by water services that don't pre-treat water. They treat the water after it has been processed through their waste water treatment systems. This is unlike states that have more population, where the state use treatment before and after usage.

What does this mean to the average dipshit?

You gotta buy a water softener and put up with the Soft Water it provides. If you don't, your home's pipes will get this nasty sludge in them that resembles white paste. On top of that, if you don't soften your water, little pieces of that sludge will occaisionally break off and enter into your home's pipes and show up when you least expect... like little minerally greasy boogers.

Have fun boiling pasta with that shit.

References

Soft Water is part of a series that involves THE SCIENCE

• The Moon • The Science • Green Leaf Volatiles • EGF & Foreskin Cosmetics • Panpsychism • The Scoville UNIT • Microwave Oven • Heaven's Gate • Timelines • Red Maps • The SPARS Pandemic 2025-2028 • Leidenfrost Effect • A Screwdriver • Euler's Disk • Roko's Basilisk • Worlds In Collision • Uranus • ChatGPT Phrases • DignifAI • Soft Water • Blue Seven • Voyager 1 & Voyager 2 • 52 Factorial •