Buffet

There is a smart way and a retarded way to visit a buffet. As a fatass, stinking, american swine, I can assure the correct way to approach an All You Can Eat buffet.

Preparation

If you are younger than 30 years old, disregard this advice. Your metabolism is quick enough to handle whatever you shove down your throat and burn it up quickly.

If you happen to be older and normal, you must not eat for at least 10 hours before entering the buffet. It is crucial to do this because as an older person, you wish to maximize your food cost per dollar spent in the restaurant.

Foods To Eat

Think about it. You didn't spend 75 bucks to eat the same stuff you can find at home.

Foods NOT To Eat

Despite the fact that a lot of places that call themselves a salad bar, yet have items such as steamed broccoli

Foods To Totally Ignore

tirade about bread and pasta