Big Brussel Sprouts

Much like Big Pharma, Big Steel, Big Agriculture, and Big Tobacco, Big Brussels Sprouts is a business conglomerate dedicated to selling and increasing the sales footprint of Brussels Sprouts. Usually, this dedication is performed through heinous and degenerate practices.

Methods

There are several tactics this nefarious group will use to force the average consumer to purchase these nasty olive colored (and shaped) tumors of nature:

• Astroturf advertisement campaigns disguised in such a way as to increase "health benefits." Some even going so far as to say Brussels Sprouts are a "super food."
• Annoying email chains and group SMS messaging designed to irritate the receiver into submission.
• Social media psyop schemes usually performed on internet forums, comment systems, and other platforms.
• Brusselsware (Malware) that installs itself through vulnerable browsers.
• Search engine algorithms which direct all search results towards small green objects that resemble testicles.
• And the worst tactic: RECIPES

Recipes

Chances are, you have had a side dish of Brussels Sprouts where the cook has boiled them, smothered them in butter, and then served them to you. Nobody likes this. The vile taste of Brussels Sprouts cannot be boiled out and no amount of butter will thin out the acrid, offensive flavor of these sickening orbs. Some cooks have decided to "up the game" when masking the flavor of these caustic vegetables.

Every single Brussels Sprouts recipe on the internet that doesn't involve steaming or boiling them is a clone of the old "broil them and then cover them in a sugary syrup." Sure, if you cover a pile of dog shit with maple syrup, it is going to taste marginally better than plain dog shit

Example Recipe

• 1 1/2 lbs. Brussels sprouts
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• ¼ tsp. ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup maple syrup