Difference between revisions of "Big Brussel Sprouts"
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(Created page with "Much like Big Pharma, Big Steel, Big Agriculture, and Big Tobacco, '''Big Brussels Sprouts''' is a cartel dedicated to selling and increasing the sales footprint of Brussels Sprouts. ==Methods== There are several tactics this nefarious group will use to force the average consumer to purchase these nasty olive colored (and shaped) tumors of nature: *Astroturf advertisement campaigns disguised in such a way as to increase "health benefits." Some even going so far a...") |
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Much like Big Pharma, Big Steel, Big Agriculture, and Big Tobacco, '''Big Brussels Sprouts''' is a | Much like Big Pharma, Big Steel, Big Agriculture, and Big Tobacco, '''Big Brussels Sprouts''' is a business conglomerate dedicated to selling and increasing the sales footprint of [[Brussels Sprouts]]. Usually, this dedication is performed through heinous and degenerate practices. | ||
==Methods== | ==Methods== | ||
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*Astroturf advertisement campaigns disguised in such a way as to increase "health benefits." Some even going so far as to say Brussels Sprouts are a "super food." | *Astroturf advertisement campaigns disguised in such a way as to increase "health benefits." Some even going so far as to say Brussels Sprouts are a "super food." | ||
*Annoying email chains and group SMS messaging designed to irritate the receiver into submission. | |||
*Social media psyop schemes usually performed on internet forums, comment systems, and other platforms. | |||
*Brusselsware (Malware) that installs itself through vulnerable browsers. | |||
*Search engine algorithms which direct all search results towards small green objects that resemble testicles. | |||
*And the worst tactic: RECIPES | |||
==Recipes== | |||
Chances are, you have had a side dish of Brussels Sprouts where the cook has boiled them, smothered them in butter, and then served them to you. | |||
Every single Brussels Sprouts recipe on the internet that doesn't involve steaming or boiling them is a clone of the old "broil them and then cover them in a sugary |
Revision as of 18:13, 14 November 2023
Much like Big Pharma, Big Steel, Big Agriculture, and Big Tobacco, Big Brussels Sprouts is a business conglomerate dedicated to selling and increasing the sales footprint of Brussels Sprouts. Usually, this dedication is performed through heinous and degenerate practices.
Methods
There are several tactics this nefarious group will use to force the average consumer to purchase these nasty olive colored (and shaped) tumors of nature:
- Astroturf advertisement campaigns disguised in such a way as to increase "health benefits." Some even going so far as to say Brussels Sprouts are a "super food."
- Annoying email chains and group SMS messaging designed to irritate the receiver into submission.
- Social media psyop schemes usually performed on internet forums, comment systems, and other platforms.
- Brusselsware (Malware) that installs itself through vulnerable browsers.
- Search engine algorithms which direct all search results towards small green objects that resemble testicles.
- And the worst tactic: RECIPES
Recipes
Chances are, you have had a side dish of Brussels Sprouts where the cook has boiled them, smothered them in butter, and then served them to you.
Every single Brussels Sprouts recipe on the internet that doesn't involve steaming or boiling them is a clone of the old "broil them and then cover them in a sugary