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Paint is alive while it is inside of a paint can. Once paint is painted onto a surface and then dries, it dies. This is why paint does not want to come out of the paint can. Ever wonder why there are a bunch of old paint cans in your garage that are half full? This is why.

In the backyard of the house I grew up in, there is a very large blue spruce tree. It was on the property line between my parent's home and the house next door and I guess it was mostly on the neighbor's side of the property line. One year, they had a tree service come out and trim the tree because wind was blowing garbage under it and making a mess. Because the tree had such think foliage, you could crawl under it and hide. Nobody would see you. I buried a metal box under that tree that had my life savings in it up to that point. That box is still buried there, 46 years later, under that pine needle earth. Six dollars and thirty-eight cents.

Taking the stairs is always faster than taking the elevator if you are going up just a few floors. This is because you cannot "run up" an elevator.

There is a television set in Heaven. On this TV, you can watch damned souls burning in Hell.

On television, whenever a cop or a fire fighter is eating and they get a call, they drop their food very quickly and go on their call. Cops usually dump their coffee and food in a conveniently nearby trash can. In real life, this never happens. I have watched a police officer get a call and then calmly finish eating the gas station tornado he was holding.