Difference between revisions of "EGF & Foreskin Cosmetics"
(Created page with "right|200px Ever wonder what those millions and millions of foreskins that are circumcised by the tens of thousands every week? Get a load of this horseshit: {{Q|The term penis facial is a misnomer,” says Dr. Hal Weitzbuch, a board-certified dermatologist based in Calabasas, California. “The key active ingredient of the facial, [of which there are variants across the globe], was originally derived from the discarded foreskin of a newborn baby in...") |
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[[File:EGF 1.png|right|200px]] | [[File:EGF 1.png|right|200px]] | ||
Ever wonder what those millions and millions of foreskins that are circumcised by the tens of thousands every week? | Ever wonder what those millions and millions of foreskins that are circumcised by the tens of thousands by the '''medical healthcare industrial complex''' every week? | ||
Epidermal growth factor (EGF) sounds like some sort of scary sci-fi thing, and it sort of is,<ref>not "sort of," jerk.</ref> minus the "scary" part. It's actually been quite popular for a while, though you might be more familiar with the term, thanks to the viral facial nicknamed the '''"penis facial."'''<ref>Uh, that phrase was already taken...am I right, Peter North?</ref> | |||
Yes, they take poor little baby boy's, cut the tip of their dick off, and then blend it into a cream treatment for rich, famous billionaire women so that they can look younger. | |||
You did not hear me wrong: | |||
'''THEY TAKE BABY DICKS, GRIND THEM UP, AND THEN PUT THEM ON THEIR FACE SO THAT THEY CAN LOOK YOUNGER.''' | |||
==Excuses and Lies== | |||
[[File:babydicks1.jpg|thumb|right|120px|Galadriel got her eternal youth from baby dicks.]] | |||
Get a load of this horseshit: | Get a load of this horseshit: | ||
{{Q|The term penis facial is a misnomer,” says Dr. Hal Weitzbuch, a board-certified dermatologist based in Calabasas, California. “The key active ingredient of the facial, [of which there are variants across the globe], was originally derived from the discarded foreskin of a newborn baby in Korea, thus the name.<ref>https://www.bravotv.com/lookbook/egf-in-your-skincare-everything-you-need-to-know</ref>}} | {{Q|The term penis facial is a misnomer,” says Dr. Hal Weitzbuch, a board-certified dermatologist based in Calabasas, California. “The key active ingredient of the facial, [of which there are variants across the globe], was originally derived from the discarded foreskin of a newborn baby in Korea, thus the name.<ref>https://www.bravotv.com/lookbook/egf-in-your-skincare-everything-you-need-to-know</ref>}} | ||
Yeah, sure... You medical science book-learnin assholes also told us that margarine,<ref>https://www.news24.com/You/Archive/shocking-facts-about-margarine-20170728-2</ref> saccharin, and tap water<ref>https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/12/23/flint-water-crisis-2020-post-coronavirus-america-445459</ref> were completely safe. | |||
If you believe that they "cloned" a Korean kid's foreskin when medical science has access to literally billions of "free" foreskins, you are an idiot or working for the health care industry. When a male baby is born in countries that perform circumcision, the nurses and doctors trip over themselves trying to get the father to "cut the cord"<ref>umbilical</ref> and then "give the snip."<ref>foreskin</ref> If the snip is performed, they whisk that foreskin away quicker than shit through a goose. | |||
They do the same with the umbilical cord and the afterbirth as well, but those are subjects for another article. Suffice it to say, there are specialized bags that fit on the stirrups of a birthing bed perfectly, so they do not miss a single precious drop of the placenta. In extreme cases, they use a vacuum to suck out anything they might have missed...but I digress. | |||
==References== | ==References== | ||
<references /> | <references /> | ||
Revision as of 04:14, 1 June 2022
Ever wonder what those millions and millions of foreskins that are circumcised by the tens of thousands by the medical healthcare industrial complex every week?
Epidermal growth factor (EGF) sounds like some sort of scary sci-fi thing, and it sort of is,[1] minus the "scary" part. It's actually been quite popular for a while, though you might be more familiar with the term, thanks to the viral facial nicknamed the "penis facial."[2]
Yes, they take poor little baby boy's, cut the tip of their dick off, and then blend it into a cream treatment for rich, famous billionaire women so that they can look younger.
You did not hear me wrong:
THEY TAKE BABY DICKS, GRIND THEM UP, AND THEN PUT THEM ON THEIR FACE SO THAT THEY CAN LOOK YOUNGER.
Excuses and Lies
Get a load of this horseshit:
The term penis facial is a misnomer,” says Dr. Hal Weitzbuch, a board-certified dermatologist based in Calabasas, California. “The key active ingredient of the facial, [of which there are variants across the globe], was originally derived from the discarded foreskin of a newborn baby in Korea, thus the name.[3] 
Yeah, sure... You medical science book-learnin assholes also told us that margarine,[4] saccharin, and tap water[5] were completely safe.
If you believe that they "cloned" a Korean kid's foreskin when medical science has access to literally billions of "free" foreskins, you are an idiot or working for the health care industry. When a male baby is born in countries that perform circumcision, the nurses and doctors trip over themselves trying to get the father to "cut the cord"[6] and then "give the snip."[7] If the snip is performed, they whisk that foreskin away quicker than shit through a goose.
They do the same with the umbilical cord and the afterbirth as well, but those are subjects for another article. Suffice it to say, there are specialized bags that fit on the stirrups of a birthing bed perfectly, so they do not miss a single precious drop of the placenta. In extreme cases, they use a vacuum to suck out anything they might have missed...but I digress.
References
- ↑ not "sort of," jerk.
- ↑ Uh, that phrase was already taken...am I right, Peter North?
- ↑ https://www.bravotv.com/lookbook/egf-in-your-skincare-everything-you-need-to-know
- ↑ https://www.news24.com/You/Archive/shocking-facts-about-margarine-20170728-2
- ↑ https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/12/23/flint-water-crisis-2020-post-coronavirus-america-445459
- ↑ umbilical
- ↑ foreskin