*ichigan

ANN ARBOR IS A WHORE

*ichigan is a college football team. This team has a storied past, but has run afoul of a series of bad game play, bad coaching, and bad actors due to the fact that they could not beat their equally storied opponent. In this day and age, where profit dominates everything, *ichigan chose to take the dark route instead of becoming a better team.

This dark route was exposed and will only lead to severe penalties for *ichigan.

Damning Evidence

Watch closely.

Connor Stalions holding a laminated play card on the *ichigan sidelines.

For the viewers that don't see what is happening, CJ Stroud looks to his sideline for the call and the accused signal stealer, Connor Stalions, intensely watches the Ohio State sideline. He then points to the sky and yells "PASS" which the *ichigan players reiterate because he knows their play calls. Not a good look for *ichigan. Harbaugh will leave for the NFL in hopes of encapsulating his last two and only "wins" against OSU. Unfortunate he had to cheat to win. When you think about it, this is alleged to have started in 2021, the year after Michigan pussied out of the big game and won after 8 straight losses and was planned to continue through last weekend. This is unprecedented. Harbaugh should be facing a real suspension.

Additionally, new evidence is coming forward that Connor Stalions purchased tickets to both Clemson and Georgia games. You can bet that teams like USC and Oklahoma are pouring through their ticket receipts and video surveillance tapes to see if Stalions was ever in their Stadiums.

Updates

This wapo article was updated October 25, 2023 at 6:06pm

Among the pieces of evidence the firm presented, these people said, was a detailed schedule of Michigan’s planned sign-stealing travel for the rest of this season, listing opponents’ schedules, which games Michigan scouts would attend, and how much money was budgeted for travel and tickets to scout each team.

The opponents targeted the most, were not surprising. Atop the list was Ohio State, *ichigan’s top rival in the Big Ten, and scouts planned to attend as many as eight games, costing more than $3,000 in travel and tickets. Next on the list was Georgia, a potential *ichigan opponent in the College Football Playoff, with four or five games scheduled for in-person scouting and video-recording, also costing more than $3,000 in travel and tickets.

What Is Going On?

*ichigan cheated while playing college football games. There seems to be some confusion as to what defines "cheating" in this case. The following sections will describe two fictional scenarios. The first scenario will illustrate how "sign stealing" is legal in college football. The second scenario will describe how *ichigan is a pack of cheating rats.

Legal Scenario

1. *ichigan is playing Opponent State University.
2. *ichigan defensive coordinator, looking through his binoculars, notices Opponent State University staffer signaling his QB.
3. Opponent State University staffer mimics the motions of putting on boots.
4. *ichigan defensive coordinator realizes a bootleg play is coming, calls for the appropriate blitz to counter it

This is perfectly legal sign-stealing. It's not against the rules.

Illegal Scenario

Rules and such.

1. In preparation for their game against Opponent State University later in the year, *ichigan sends a spy to their games and their practices to do reconnaissance.
2. *ichigan spy uses electronic equipment to record the entire Opponent State University sideline.
3. *ichigan later goes over the footage with a fine-tooth comb and now has a blueprint not only of Opponent State University's signaling system, but the entirety of their operations.

This, on the other hand, is a violation of multiple NCAA regulations:

1. In-person scouting of future opponents is not allowed.
2. Sign-stealing via electronic recording equipment is not allowed.

This scenario is exactly what that *ichigan is accused of doing, and "plausible deniability" won't protect Harbaugh, as he is responsible for whatever happens within his football program whether he is fully aware of the violations or not.

Sad Reality

In general there's only 2 B1G programs *ichigan should even need to spy on, so the fact that they did this on a massive scale is so embarrassing.

*ichigan actually used these illegal tactics against perennial losing teams like Indiana, Northwestern, Nebraska, Illinois, and Michigan State. They were so insecure in their coach and players, that they felt the need to employ a United States Marine to do two things:

• Record opponent's games personally, or...
• Pay somebody else to record opponent's games when the Marine was unable or unwilling to attend the games. On top of that...
• He paid somebody else to record these games using his personal Venmo account and did not make the transactions private.
• Using Venmo to pay off illegal activities may drag this scandal into a RICO charge, but it probably won't because its just college football.

Additionally, the *ichigan agent's financial records show that this has been going on since 2020. Tickets were bought for at least 30 games and were purchased for both sides of the field behind the coaching bench.

Greg Schiano

Greg let it slip during the 2023 Rutgers/*ichigan game.

Schiano tormented Harbaugh as Ohio State's defensive coordinator, then tanks *ichigan as a program once while coaching Rutgers. LMAO.

Cope

Memes

Only one to start, but it is a pretty good one.