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Difference between revisions of "Muzak"

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[[Category:Old]][[Category:Media]][[Category:Things That Don't Exist]]
[[Category:Old]][[Category:Media]][[Category:Things That Don't Exist]]

Latest revision as of 00:02, 16 May 2023

Magnify.png Further Info: You are lucky that mediawiki doesn't allow autoplay for mp4 files anymore.

Muzaklogo.jpeg

Back in the good old days, when you entered a department store, grocery store, or even an elevator, you were greeted with pleasant Muzak wafting airily into your ears. Muzak was music that took popular hits and stripped them down to a much more calming and friendly instrumental version. Probably because when elevators were first invented, people tended to freak out in them... they needed something to calm down the average normie.

Prime Example

Girl from Ipanema was a popular target of "Muzak"

Hate?

A lot of people hated Muzak. Many gave it as an example as what sort of piped in music would be played in Hell, if you were so unlucky as to wind up there.

Quote.png I worked in retail and heard nothing but Muzak all day, yes I can say with all certainty that I hated it. It made time pass by even slower. Quote1.png

And it is all true. Muzak took real music and turned it into "sound mayonnaise." Literally sludge oozing into your ear. It is perfectly acceptable to hate Muzak.

Ted Nugent

Ted wanted to DESTROY Muzak.

While the original intent of Muzak was to calm people down in the newly invented elevator car, it quickly became a target of ire. Enter Ted Nugent...

Quote.png Muzak is an evil force in today's society, causing people to lapse into uncontrollable fits of blandness Quote1.png

Ted Nugent hated Muzak more than the normal, average person. He even went so far as to offer to purchase the company for 10 million dollars with the intent of shutting down Muzak forever.[1]

Yes, There Was A Company

Muzak was a franchised company that started some time back in the 1930s, forcing people to listen to their bullshit for several decades. The company went into bankruptcy in 2009 and the United States government managed to get rid of half of Muzak's bills, allowing the company to remain alive for a small time.[2][3] After all that, Muzak was purchased by a company called "Mood Music"[4][5] and the brand was retired (hopefully permanently) in 2011.

For Further Study

References

I'm still trying.
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Muzak is a part of a series on Music
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Muzak is a part of a series remembering the good old days of the internet.