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Soft Water

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Various dictionaries around the web pretty much define Soft Water like the following:

Quote.png Water containing little or no dissolved salts of calcium or magnesium, especially water containing less than about 85 parts per million of calcium carbonate.[1][2][3] Quote1.png

What Soft Water Really Is

Shit.

What Soft Water Feels Like When You Take A Shower

It feels like you are an eel stuck in a jar of Vaseline.[4]

Seriously, now that I live in an area that requires a water softener to keep the home pipes clean of calcium deposits, I have to feed the damn softener with salt every other month and it makes my balls feel like two hairless gerbils fighting over a food pellet in a greasy bag of slippery rubber.

I asked my wife to come and check my balls during a recent shower. She said:

Quote.png Your balls feel like two hairless gerbils fighting over a food pellet in a greasy bag of slippery rubber. Quote1.png

References

  1. ↑ https://www.yourdictionary.com/soft-water
  2. ↑ https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/soft+water
  3. ↑ https://thelawdictionary.org/soft-water/
  4. ↑ https://www.vaseline.com/us/en/products/healing-jelly/vaseline-healing-jelly-original.html
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